BRIDGET JONES, FOUR

I’m tempted to classify this under the Works of Jane Austen category, because we all know that Bridget Jones’ Diary is an admitted derivative of Pride and Prejudice. However, I think it’s become a stand-alone franchise that deserves its own category.

Does Bridget show any character traits that resemble Elizabeth Bennet? I’ll say no. The plot — one man who seems attractive, one repulsive, switch places as the heroine learns more — is the similarity. She has no sisters, no cousins; we have no Bingley, no Lady Catherine. It’s just the love triangle and the mistaken assumptions therein. I’m not bothered that Bridget is a unique person.

I do like the social commentary comparison. For both women, society expects them to be married at their age. They want to be married, too, but not at the expense of their standards. They both have pushy, socially embarrassing mothers, and fathers who are ineffectual.

So, what Enneagram is our Bridget? She has a beloved circle of friends and a party-hardy attitude. (Lol I just went down a rabbit hole of whether it’s party hardy or party hearty. I’ll stick with my first instinct.) Her diary writing suggests she’s not happy with herself. However, she is indomitable. She’s embarrassed, yet she continues to forge ahead. Sliding down a fireman’s pole bottom-first into camera doesn’t keep her from going out on assignment again. She misses the post-trial interview while she’s buying a cigarette, and then nails it. Shaming moments are heaped on her, but she’s still chasing Darcy down the street in her “knickers”. Isn’t all of this exactly what we love about Bridget and why we watch her over and over?

A Four? She seems like a Heart Type. Her exercise is something she does to lose weight, not as a Body Type. Her publishing job is more about the social connection than the intellectual pursuit; not a Head Type. She’s clearly not a Three. I’ll say that her lack of punctuality is what marks her as a Four. A Two would be more concerned about tardiness and what people will think. A Four is going to tend to themselves first (in her case, nursing a hangover), and an obligation to their work schedule would come second.

WW84, FOUR

We have a continuation of the Wonder Woman character. Is she still a Nine?

She’s very physical, of course. The thing she values most, her superpowers, are threatened by her wish. In the opening sequence, when she’s a child, she’s physically driven and very Nine-ish, very much the Diana we remember.

To wish for Steve’s return, especially when you don’t know that you’re actually wishing for something that can come true, is a move any Enneagram number could follow. Lost love and broken hearts.

Steve, however, causes problems for a Nine. He magically inhabits another man’s body without his permission or knowledge. I suspect a Nine, a Body Type, would find that egregious. In order to keep Steve, Diana must accept the loss of her prowess. Again, I have doubts that a Nine would roll with this. The failing of her own body would be unacceptable, as would the injustice of using someone else’s body. Either the production team has written a Diana who violates her own character, or they’ve changed Enneagram numbers on her.

What number, if any, would follow these conditions? Well, not a Body Type. Probably not Head, either. Too many rules are broken. Heart is the only possibility. Diana puts everything aside for love.

They’ve made Diana a Four. Her loneliness, her depression, consume her. She barely can generate a friendship with Barbara. Her fighting is peremptory. The only physical joy we see is her flying, which could be attributed to emotion and her memory of Steve. And when she meets the Body Donator — the man who was Steve — she seems nostalgic rather than horrified. It’s about her and her feelings, not a consciousness of him. 

I was sad that more of this movie wasn’t about WW and Cheetah. The change from Nine to Four would be responsible for that. A Nine story would look outward more; the Four story looks inward.

Presumably now that she’s made peace with Steve’s passing she can resume her duties as Wonder Woman. If they’re financed for another movie, will they flip her back to a Nine?

PETER, FOUR

Successful. Utterly self-centered. Breezy.

Like Lucy, Peter’s nature drives his story. He’s selfish. Oh, it’s too delicious! This is a happy movie, so the unlikable character is in a coma throughout most of it. When he wakes up, the script gives him a diagnosis of amnesia. All of his negative traits become fodder for humor as he tries to prove that he can remember his life.

Needless to say, he’s portrayed beautifully. To play someone so shallow and yet to make him so funny is difficult.

So, what Enneagram is he? Professionally he’s incredibly successful. That suggests a Three, except that he’s so socially dense. Threes know how to take a room’s temperature.

He’s a Four. It’s the sartorial flair. (“Are those my shoes?”)  He’s a charming jerk, self-absorbed, yet able to navigate the corporate milieu. You have to like a Man Four; you can’t help it, even when their nasty bits are showing. It’s so Peter.

FIONA BREWER, FOUR

I don’t know what Enneagram number Toni Collette is, and she’s a physical chameleon when it comes to her roles, but she’s given Fiona the body of a Four. With her costuming and the way she’s shot, Fiona comes across as tall with a dominating physical presence. This is one of the Woman Four body characteristics.

Fiona’s depression can also be Four-like. The highs and lows. These are markers that are stereotypes, though. Let’s look deeper.

She’s very socially brave. When she thinks Marcus has been mistreated by Will she’s in his face in a public place with no hesitation or caution. Her dedication to SPAT, the support group, is also a comfortable relationship. Meeting people, relying on people, these are all wheelhouse reactions from Fiona. Very Heart Type.

What about an Eight, though? She’s very aggressive in her opinions, and her dominating physique could also be an Eight’s. Is she a Body Type?

No! Hahaha, I’m cracking up. It’s the ancient grains cereal. Eights are more luxurious in their eating choices. Oh, dear, that’s funny. Although, she does cry over the cereal. No, I’m kidding.

And she closes her eyes during “Killing Me Softly”. She’s feeling the emotion of the words. She can’t be feeling the musicality because it’s a terrible song, hitting the body like an ice pick to the brain. An Eight would recoil rather than lean in.

Okay, that was mean. But I genuinely hate that song. As do most people. That’s what makes the bit so funny.

WILL FREEMAN, FOUR

I didn’t even know he had a last name! It’s Will the Cool Guy, Will of the Carefully Disheveled Hair, Will of the Units of Time.

I love Will.

He is a wonderful mix of brutal honesty and deep deception. His narration, something that pains me normally, is an exception to the rule. Because “Santa’s Super Sleigh” impacts his life so thoroughly, this is most definitely a Christmas movie.

Well, he’s quite concerned about other peoples’ opinions. He pretends he isn’t, thus his armor of cool, but he’s devastated when Rachel might not like him. This is why the climax, when he sings in front of the whole school, is so powerful. He’s really risking something. Disapproval is the worst thing he can face.

Heart Type? Most people want to be liked, but it’s not the defining character trait for them.

Will’s a Four! He’s witty, cutting. Mostly we see his veneer rather than his lows and highs, but they’re there, hiding. A loner, he achieves community, friendship, and connection at the end of the movie. Vulnerability opens up a better life for him. It’s a beautiful message and a lovely film.

And the apple beelining for his head makes me fall off the couch laughing every time.

THE MONSTER, FOUR

Again, we have split between the original Monster and the Young Frankenstein version. All iterations of the Monster have a sympathetic tendency, but the comedic one has almost no threat in him. Boris Karloff’s Monster is beloved because it can terrify. He pushes that little girl down the well!

Can a being brought to life by man have a soul? He can certainly have an Enneagram number.

The problem is the amount of versions. Some of the Monsters are deeply emotional, hurt, lonely and abandoned. Some are more brutish. Isn’t there always, to one degree or another, a level of envy? Because he’s given life and then rejected by his creator, the Monster is jealous of a relationship that other humans have naturally. When he realizes how he’s been cheated of this by Victor he becomes bitter and violent.

His lows are so very low. I want to say Four. This story is so poignant, so eternal, because the Monster expresses so much emotional pain. He has much to give, and yet he never has the chance to share and express it. Another number wouldn’t rock us with this heartache.

The Monster in Young Frankenstein is more a comedic tool than a character. He doesn’t arc, he just changes due to an operation. He doesn’t really speak. I don’t consider him to have an Enneagram. He’s a great foil for Wilder and Kahn, and is portrayed brilliantly by Boyle, but he’s a punch line rather than a person.

JESSIE, FOUR

She’s so emotional, so vulnerable with such a heart. Four?

You just love her, don’t you? Her passion for the Roundup Gang and her companions is endearing. Her enthusiasm for life outside of the packing box. Her love of Emily, although not remarkable for the world of toys, still can make you cry. That song!

As broken as she is, hurt by her abandonment, she’ll still jump in and hope. She’ll be part of the Gang, she’ll be part of Andy’s room, she’ll be in the daycare center. She’s so game!

When Woody rescues her in the airplane, she goes from lost and devastated to thrilled and enthusiastic so quickly. Her resilience! 

Pixar has created a three-dimensional Four, someone with the warts and the triumphs, and Jessie is given all the time to show the depth of her character. She is an example of the true breadth of this Enneagram number.

It’s also why she and Woody are not a romantic item. Two people of the same number will be more like siblings.

WOODY, FOUR

Envy. Woody’s envy of Buzz drives the first Toy Story. He can only be a Heart Type.

Woody’s a great leader. He’s got the whole room organized. The recon soldiers and the walkie talkies, the moving buddies, the meetings — this is a smooth-running team. A lot of this is due to writers and creators wanting to showcase toys from their youth. The movie is fun! It works, though, because Woody’s character traits are so integrated into the gimmick.

Is he a Three? He’s so beloved, in Andy’s room but also as a collectible. The cowboy doll is a cool toy. What happens when all the success and ease of a Three’s world is upended by chance? Buzz wishes him no harm and is not the villain. He’s just a random event that wrecks Woody’s comfort.

I want to say, though, that Woody’s a Four. His emotional intensity, his dependence on the love from the room, his connection to Andy. His battle with Sid seems particularly Four-ish. He’s able to gain the sympathy of Sid’s toys, even when Andy’s toys have rejected him. The journey through emotion Woody makes seems like a Four path.

Also, and this is funny, Woody moves like a Four. He’s tall, gangly, with long arms and legs. Remember his run? Doesn’t it make you laugh when you imagine him as a Four? Woody was drawn/modeled by people who knew his character. This isn’t just a process of casting an actor who may or may not match the Enneagram of their role. Something made the creators design a Woody that fits certain physical parameters. I like this mysterious sense of synergy!

PIERCE BROSNAN’S BOND, FOUR

We’re definitely back to the Heart Type with this Bond. Another Four?

The era of social change has begun with Brosnan. His Bond can’t be so sexist. M is played by a woman. He feels really, really bad when he mistreats his Bond Girl, but he also works with Sidekick Women who are clever and complicated. It’s a balance.

I’m being sarcastic. Goldeneye was an instant classic and spawned one of the great video games. Bond actually feels things, has a friend who becomes the villain, and is sincere rather than flippant in his relationships. I would say that this is possible with a Four Bond. He can hit the spectrum of emotions without it seeming false if he digs down. Moore’s Bond kept it light and superficial, which doesn’t work for a Four. He can feel. Let him.

Also, I think it’s important that Brosnan is the only Bond that people asked for. When the role opened up Brosnan was under contract to Remington Steele and was unavailable. People wanted him, though, and he wanted Bond. When he was given the chance to play him later it felt like closure, like an expectation had been fulfilled. The actor had a connection to the audience as Bond before he ever became Bond. Did that shape his portrayal? Perhaps Brosnan as a Bond Four was inevitable.

ROGER MOORE’S BOND, FOUR

For this Bond I would’ve attended an opening in the movie theater. Moonraker may have been the first Bond movie I ever saw. The Moore years were very theatrical: wild ski jumps, a man with razor teeth, voodoo. You could call these the peak Bond years, although Moore was my least favorite Bond. His double entendre was so painful!

I immediately jump to Four. This Bond is very socially aware. He judges the room, works it. He’s on mission, make no mistake, but he notices people. He doesn’t just shoot and run, he manages the flow. Suave is a tool in his arsenal.

You have to see a Heart Type when you look at his mastery of emotion. His somewhat cold manipulation of it is very Man Four. He rules the ups and downs. They don’t rule him.

I’m sorry I can’t be impartial about this. I don’t remember much about the Moore films because I only watched them once. The other Bonds I’ve rewatched many times. The smile doesn’t reach the eyes with him, and I don’t find his Bond engaging.