Enneagram – Enneagram and Encaustic

Hooky

Because it’s almost Halloween and I’ve been working on a longer post for next week, I wanted something light for this week. It’s easy to enjoy a Spongebob episode. The fish hooks are vaguely threatening and maybe a little scary — yes? — so let’s call this a Halloween appetizer.

ONE

Briefly we see the ocean’s surface with the Three Palm Tree Island. Animated humans on boats fish.

TWO

Mr. Krabs bursts through the door of the Krusty Krab. “They’re back! The hooks!”

The customers are unimpressed.

However, Spongebob is interested. Krabs explains: the hooks are beguiling, but they’ll grab you by the britches and haul you up to the surface where you’ll be cooked and eaten. Or worse.

Insert a shot of a gift shop.

THREE

Scared, Spongebob retreats to the kitchen.

FOUR

Patrick pops his head through the porthole window. “The carnival’s in town.” Spongebob agrees to take a break.

Patrick leads Spongebob to “the carnival”. It’s a festival of colorfully baited hooks. Seeing one plain hook, Spongebob realizes what’s going on. He warns Patrick.

Using one hook as a chair, Patrick sticks another hook in his mouth to eat the cheese bait. (Okay, that’s a literal laugh-out-loud.)

Spongebob is still worried.

Patrick is hauled up. But he floats back down safely after jumping off. Unable to resist, Spongebob joins Patrick on the hook.

SWITCH

Cut to a live action surface shot of a fisherman reeling in his line. He fights the weight, pulling. Spongebob and Patrick jump off, laughing. The fisherman loses his catch.

FIVE

Meanwhile, at the Krusty Krab, Squidward is in the kitchen burning the burgers. Mr. Krabs goes out to find Spongebob. He catches the boys riding hooks and chastises them. You’ll be pressed into a tuna can!

SIX

A new day and Spongebob’s headed to work.

SEVEN

Patrick intercepts him and takes him again to the hooks. Spongebob, wanting to obey Mr. Krabs, resists. He sees Patrick having all the fun, though.

Spongebob sits on a hook.

EIGHT

When he floats back down, he’s still hooked through the britches. Panicking, he runs toward the Krusty Krab, dragging the line behind him.

There’s only one thing to do: take off your hooked pants. But Pearl and all her friends are in the restaurant, laughing at him. He takes off the shorts, but the hook is through his tidy whiteys.

The hook pulls away the underwear. Spongebob, nude, splats against the door to the Krusty Krab. The girls laugh. Squidward holds a fishing line and hook with Spongebob’s underwear on it.

It was a fake catch — a lesson from Mr. Krabs.

NINE

Spongebob runs home to his pineapple.

A bus delivers a can of tuna with Patrick inside.

KATE BOSWORTH’S LOIS LANE, TWO

As I previously mentioned, I only watched the first half of Superman Returns because I found it boring and painful.

Bosworth seems to be giving her Lane the same crusty personality Kidder gave. The production design undermines this portrayal, though. Lois’ hair is fluffy and styled rather than stringy and simple; her suit is tidy and professional rather than frumpy and thrown-together. Kidder’s Lois was razor sharp on the inside, while her physical presentation was slightly sloppy. Bosworth’s Lois is the opposite. Her interior life is a conflicted mess.

Honestly, I don’t want to remember or detail her personal disasters. Suffice to say she has problems, and this is no Eight. Kidder’s Lane has a breezy way of attacking life. Bosworth’s Lane cringes and sidesteps.

I feel bad for sounding so harsh. I like Bosworth as an actor. (Blue Crush, anyone?) I blame the showrunners more than I do her for upending Lois Lane’s strengths. Like Spacey’s Luthor, Bosworth’s Lane is unclear as an Enneagram number. My first guess is a wounded Two. It’s a terrible choice for a hard-bitten reporter. We have no sign of the girlboss Lane.

You know, I could delve deeper into her character, but I won’t. I didn’t finish the movie and now I won’t spend more time with Lois. Let’s forget this film exists, which seems to be the trend.

BRANDON ROUTH’S SUPERMAN, FOUR

Superman Returns is a continuation, plotwise, of the Reeve stories. Superman, when astronomers locate the empty space that used to be Krypton, leaves Metropolis for five years to go home and see his broken world for himself.

It’s an awkward story decision. Clark Kent and Superman, gone for the same amount of time, return and no one seriously connects the dots. A throwaway joke that Clark is too nerdy to be the cool Superman doesn’t work. It’s a bandaid for a plot wound.

Routh does a fine job, even imitating Reeve’s speech patterns. He isn’t playing a Nine, though, which is very interesting to me. He’s less of a stereotypical hero and more of a guy who lost his girl. He’s heartbroken. And he has the twinkle that Spacey’s Luthor is missing. This might be our Four.

I didn’t watch the entire movie, so I could have missed some Enneagram clues. Unlike Spacey, though, Routh conveys a lot of character in the first half. Superman tells Lois that he hears all the Earth’s cries for help. It seems to pain him that he, a being who suffers with each human individual, can’t rescue everyone. This movie makes obvious references to Superman as Christ, which is another weight dragging down the story. For all the beauty of the original Superman, it’s a fairly simple story. The choice to make this Superman a continuation rather than an origin story gives the film a lot of baggage it can’t handle.

It’s a shame, because I think Routh’s Four Superman has possibilities.

KEVIN SPACEY’S LEX LUTHOR, FIVE

I know I said that the Luthor portrayal had a lot of wiggle room. I underestimated the brilliance of Hackman, though. His humor is so important for an enjoyable Superman story. Spacey’s Luthor is cruel. He doesn’t twinkle. Clearly, Superman Returns intends to be grittier than the original, but this version isn’t fun. I stopped rewatching halfway through.

Spacey’s Luthor is no Four as Hackman’s was. The lack of impish wit changes the Enneagram number. The villainous plan is equally bold and destructive, and Superman is poisoned by kryptonite in both versions. Each Luthor has a sympathetic female sidekick. However, one difference is Luthor’s living conditions. Hackman has an almost-silly underground lair. Spacey, who tricked a dying lady into marrying him and willing him her money, has a yacht. Hackman’s house is ridiculous; humor is required. Spacey’s house is luxurious. He’s free to be malevolent.

I feel confident saying that this Luthor is no Heart Type. On the one hand, I may guess his Enneagram number wrong because I didn’t watch the whole film. On the other hand, if you can’t present your character clearly in half a movie, then you’ve failed.

Shall I call him a Null? That seems unfair. He’s Head or Body, and the only defining characteristic I noticed is his wig collection. The shot of the mannequin heads in his closet is creepy. Hackman’s Luthor, who wears wigs that amuse him, is different. This Luthor chooses a hairpiece that will sell his heist identity. The wigs are tools.

I’m going to say he’s a Five, although it’s a stab on my part. This Luthor is so different from Hackman’s, and a Five is almost opposite from a Four. In the Enneagram diagram they are unconnected numbers with a chasm in between. A villainous Five would be emotionally cold. This Luthor is a sociopath, as any Luthor could be, but there’s something numb and blank about him. A Five is the closest guess I can make.

GENE HACKMAN’S LEX LUTHOR, FOUR

He’s funny and diabolical. I love Hackman’s portrayal. However, this is where I separate from the other two characters in this movie. I can grant other Luthor portrayals respect. He changes based on the plot each movie gives him and what his villainy will be. It’s a gift to the actor. Superman and Lois will be the same, regardless. Luthor can invent himself anew.

This Luthor has a silliness. His sidekicks aren’t threatening. He lives in a resort-like sewer. His plot to own waterfront property along the western seaboard is ridiculous at first. The wigs, constantly changing like costumes . . . this Lex is fabulous.

Underneath all the slapstick, though, is a serious antagonist. He may smile when he chains kryptonite to Superman’s chest, but Luthor isn’t joking. He’s done his homework and he isn’t dissuaded by Miss Teschmacher’s distress that her mother is in the missile’s path.

Is he a Four? He’s self-deprecatory. He has a social gang, even though they’re incompetent. Certainly, he displays Envy. His biting humor seems very Four-like.

This Lex shows no signs of physical dominance. He’s not a Body Type. He’s either Heart or Head. He’s got to be a Heart Type, though, because he leads with feelings and social manipulation. He doesn’t attack Superman from an intellectual position; he’s messing with him and it’s fun. I don’t even think he’s concerned about success, which a Three would be. He just wants to screw with the world. A Four Lex is cartoony and wonderful.

Other Luthors may not need to match Hackman’s portrayal, but they still have big shoes to fill.

MARGOT KIDDER’S LOIS LANE, EIGHT

Like Reeve’s Superman, Kidder’s Lois is the OG to me. She’s smart and tenacious, but she (a professional writer) can’t spell. She’s a pretty woman, but she walks with an unladylike hunch. She’s a flawed human being, which makes her interesting. She also feels like she really lives in Metropolis, like she’s a city girl.

Let me warn you now: in my opinion no one will portray Lois like Kidder did.

We get the sense that Lois pursues difficult stories because she likes the battle. She’s not writing about crime because the public has a right to know; she’s writing because she has an aggressive streak. She’s a fighter who wants to win with her words.

This Lois is an Eight. Like a Nine Superman, an Eight Lois is a highly predictable storytelling choice. Make her a girlboss (even though Kidder’s portrayal is way before that became a female character trope). This Eight succeeds because of what I mentioned earlier: Lois is flawed. She’s tough but not perfect.

As I look at other Lois portrayals I’ll be very interested to see how many are Eights. I would guess that they’re not, but I’m going through a number of Superman properties with fresh eyes, so we’ll see.

“You’ve got me, but who’s got you?” That’s such an Eight line. Challenging, physical, and humorous.

CHRISTOPHER REEVE’S SUPERMAN, NINE

I was never a comic book reader. This movie, released when I was fourteen, is the OG Superman for me. Every subsequent Superman property will be compared to this one, often for the worse. The three leads — Clark, Lois, and Lex — are foundational characters. Stray from these portrayals at your peril.

When Superman visits Lois at her rooftop courtyard, he’s so wide-eyed and cheerful. He smiles a lot. Clark, by comparison, is almost dour. This is one of the things we love about Reeve’s portrayal: Clark seems more world-weary and Superman is like a hopeful child.

Superman’s optimism is necessary for his character arc. After Lois dies (which, by the way, is still horrific to watch) he goes very dark. He breaks his father’s rules and changes time. It’s as if Superman learns that personal tragedy is possible for him. Jonathan Kent’s heart attack is an old man dying from a natural progression; Superman is sad but he’s not wounded. However, Lois’ death is unfair. Because he keeps his promise and saves Miss Teschmacher’s mother first, Superman can’t get to Lois ahead of the missile.

Well, the OG superhero is going to get the OG Enneagram number, Nine. That’s my instinct, but is it true? Nines love justice; changing the earth’s rotation is an extreme reaction to the injustice of Lois’ fate, but it fits.

Here’s something interesting: Superman is very physical, as a Nine would be. However, is that an inherent trait, or just a benefit of being an alien from a gravity-heavy planet? Take away all of Superman’s strength, and what personality is left? What about the smiling toddler who lifts the Kents’ car to help a stranger?

Nah, he’s still a Nine. Truth, justice, and the American Way. This catchphrase encapsulates a hero Nine’s ethos. And Clark’s timidity, while a ruse to hide his secret identity, is also the sign of a Nine avoiding conflict. It’s not too far a stretch from his core personality, so it’s believable.

Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis

ONE

Eleanor stands in line at the yogurt shop, which is loaded with new flavors. When Eleanor can’t decide, she steps out of line so the next person can order.

TWO

Closeup of Eleanor’s face as she realizes she just did something unselfish. She runs to tell Chidi about it. Of course, in her excitement she forgets to get the yogurt. After a second of complaining, she rushes out to fulfill her promise. Those “good person” lessons are really working!

THREE

Roll title card.

EVA STRATT, ONE

Please don’t read about Stratt if you don’t want spoilers for “Project Hail Mary”.

My first instinct was to call her a Head Type, but she might be a One. Rules are very important to her. She’s in charge of saving the human race and she won’t shirk her responsibility. A One with a vision is indefatigable. They make a good leader when survival is on the line because they aren’t swayed by feelings. Their coldness is their strength.

Also, Stratt’s karaoke scene suggests that little twinkle that a One has. Her job is too serious to let her dip into humor, but for a small moment we see that she’s got a hidden trait.

Stratt as a One and Grace as a Six leads to the confrontation they have. Both are rule-following Enneagram numbers. Grace, who’s convinced he’s not fit for space, won’t budge. Stratt, who has no other option than Grace for her team, will do anything to advance her mission, including drugging and forcing Grace to go. Not many numbers would act so ruthlessly, but a One with a purpose will.

In Stratt’s final scene, we see how implacable she is. Years have passed; her face is lined with age. She’s sailing on a freezing body of water. This is the state of the world as the sun dies. I doubt she’s in the arctic; she’s probably near Hawaii, although the movie doesn’t specify that. All this time, she’s continued on mission. I actually get chills thinking of how dedicated she is and how her belief in Grace comes to fruition. It’s a beautiful moment when she holds Rocky’s sculpture and gives a slight smile. For Stratt, this is the equivalent of jumping up and down with joy.

You don’t have a story without Stratt and her stringency. A One is an excellent choice for a difficult character. She’s implacable. Perhaps some think her villainous. However, all of her decisions feel true to her nature. Her believability is essential.

ROCKY (THE ERIDIAN), TWO

Rocky is a rock-shaped alien. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that; the trailers were generous in showing him.

Animated characters are similar to Rocky’s design: a voice actor provides one aspect of his personality; the illustrator (or in this case, the puppeteer) provides another layer. They can have an Enneagram, and so can Rocky. However, because he has no human-style face, the voice carries more of the load.

James Ortiz gives Rocky a very energetic voice; he loves problem-solving and is curious, asking many questions. He also has a dry sense of humor. He’s loyal to his species, his mate, and his new friend Grace. Rocky has a generous heart.

He could be any of the traits: Head, Heart, or Body Type. Because he’s the only Eridian we get to know, we can’t tell if he’s more physical than others, more sympathetic, or more cerebral. He’s our only example. With so many options, it’s tempting to call him a Null.

That wouldn’t be fair, though; he clearly has a personality. We’ll need to judge him by human standards.

His wit and exuberant physicality suggest a One. His adventurousness suggests a Seven. His sorrow at being alone in space suggests —

A Two. His little xenon sculptures are his Two Collection. The last half of the movie makes clear that Rocky is a Heart Type. I’ll say no more than that.